From time to time it is good to look back to see where you have been to know where you are heading. Nick and I have been searching for a couple years the direction that God was leading us and continually talking and emailing each other about different things that were going on. It was in December when I wrote this email to kind of try to put words to where we had been and where we were at...
The time when things are good: When Amy and I were married we saw ourselves in San Jose for a very long time. We both had jobs we liked, we had family in the area, we felt like we were where God wanted us to be. So we bought a house. Then things didn't really change... so we upgraded and bought another house. I would like to say that we thought through those huge purchases. I would also like to say that we invited God in on those purchases. The purchases were not on whim. Because the fact that we were able to get an incredible loan on the second house, that we should have never in a million years been able to afford, that it was God's way of opening that door and putting us in a more permanent place. I cannot say that we were totally at peace with the purchase. But it was peaceful enough to go through with it. I am continually looking for ways to better understand the true peace that comes from God.
Change: While at that house... "things" started to change, feelings started to change, our perspective was changing. Other than the new house, nothing drastic in our lives changed, yet our minds were moving in a different direction than they were before. There began a tugging, that is hard to describe or for us even to understand. Quite a bit of the unsettled feelings were in and around the church and our ministry. So we did what we thought we were suppose to do, and changed some things that were bothering us in our ministry to rid ourselves of that unsettled feeling. Then more recently the unsettledness has moved into the areas of school and football. The best way to describe the unsettled feeling is a lack of peace or contentment. We still have joy and happiness, with a little nagging in the back of our minds. Those feelings, we cannot help. They are there for a reason. This helps us believe that God is preparing us for something.
Preparation Part 1: The first part of His preparation was to give me knowledge and experience. In the last couple years I have had different unexplainable, unforeseeable, unique opportunities and experiences that have given me knowledge, wisdom, and experience that would be hard to come by if it were not apart of God’s plan in my life. These experiences have given a wide set of perspectives and philosophies that have come in many different arenas: financial (identity theft, two house foreclosures), business (Cisco), school (V.P & Dept Chair), football (head coach), education (masters), Church (pastor, and vision team). In trying to decipher What God’s plan is and Why this is His path, I have come up with many hypotheses that go in different directions, but nothing that has yet given us our true God given calling.
Preparation Part 2: The second part of His preparation has come in my obedience or lack there of. It has become clear that God has a plan for us. Therefore there were two avenues that we must prepare for. The first was that our lives were “too noisy” and that our spiritual lives are not where they need to be in order to move into God’s plan. In order to hear God’s voice, we had to cut out commitments, and leadership and offer God some time to not do what we think we should do but to listen. The second avenue is a lot like the first (or perhaps is attached to the first) that we are to end all responsibilities, commitments, and places of leadership so that when God calls or leads us to where he is preparing us, we can answer without hesitation, without permission, and without interpretation.
Three times: For the record, I wrote the above paragraphs three times. The first time I got to here and Word unexpectedly quit. Then I started over and wrote 2 paragraphs, and the power went out… twice so finally I made it back to where I once was.
Current: Which brings me to where we are at now. We are excited about the new avenue our lives are coming to. As of January 1, all commitments to the church and ministry are ending and our lives will be very different. For the five years I have been married to Amy our lives have been captive to the church and not necessarily to God. We do not have a peace or live in peace. We believe that this change will give our relationship with God, relationship together, and our life a peace, a new perspective and new life.
The time when things are good: When Amy and I were married we saw ourselves in San Jose for a very long time. We both had jobs we liked, we had family in the area, we felt like we were where God wanted us to be. So we bought a house. Then things didn't really change... so we upgraded and bought another house. I would like to say that we thought through those huge purchases. I would also like to say that we invited God in on those purchases. The purchases were not on whim. Because the fact that we were able to get an incredible loan on the second house, that we should have never in a million years been able to afford, that it was God's way of opening that door and putting us in a more permanent place. I cannot say that we were totally at peace with the purchase. But it was peaceful enough to go through with it. I am continually looking for ways to better understand the true peace that comes from God.
Change: While at that house... "things" started to change, feelings started to change, our perspective was changing. Other than the new house, nothing drastic in our lives changed, yet our minds were moving in a different direction than they were before. There began a tugging, that is hard to describe or for us even to understand. Quite a bit of the unsettled feelings were in and around the church and our ministry. So we did what we thought we were suppose to do, and changed some things that were bothering us in our ministry to rid ourselves of that unsettled feeling. Then more recently the unsettledness has moved into the areas of school and football. The best way to describe the unsettled feeling is a lack of peace or contentment. We still have joy and happiness, with a little nagging in the back of our minds. Those feelings, we cannot help. They are there for a reason. This helps us believe that God is preparing us for something.
Preparation Part 1: The first part of His preparation was to give me knowledge and experience. In the last couple years I have had different unexplainable, unforeseeable, unique opportunities and experiences that have given me knowledge, wisdom, and experience that would be hard to come by if it were not apart of God’s plan in my life. These experiences have given a wide set of perspectives and philosophies that have come in many different arenas: financial (identity theft, two house foreclosures), business (Cisco), school (V.P & Dept Chair), football (head coach), education (masters), Church (pastor, and vision team). In trying to decipher What God’s plan is and Why this is His path, I have come up with many hypotheses that go in different directions, but nothing that has yet given us our true God given calling.
Preparation Part 2: The second part of His preparation has come in my obedience or lack there of. It has become clear that God has a plan for us. Therefore there were two avenues that we must prepare for. The first was that our lives were “too noisy” and that our spiritual lives are not where they need to be in order to move into God’s plan. In order to hear God’s voice, we had to cut out commitments, and leadership and offer God some time to not do what we think we should do but to listen. The second avenue is a lot like the first (or perhaps is attached to the first) that we are to end all responsibilities, commitments, and places of leadership so that when God calls or leads us to where he is preparing us, we can answer without hesitation, without permission, and without interpretation.
Three times: For the record, I wrote the above paragraphs three times. The first time I got to here and Word unexpectedly quit. Then I started over and wrote 2 paragraphs, and the power went out… twice so finally I made it back to where I once was.
Current: Which brings me to where we are at now. We are excited about the new avenue our lives are coming to. As of January 1, all commitments to the church and ministry are ending and our lives will be very different. For the five years I have been married to Amy our lives have been captive to the church and not necessarily to God. We do not have a peace or live in peace. We believe that this change will give our relationship with God, relationship together, and our life a peace, a new perspective and new life.
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